Financial Statement Budget

Completing the family law financial statement budget is one of the first formalities in which a family law mediator will face push-back. It’s too complicated, too confusing, too time consuming, will cause too much delay, it’s pointless if we primarily rely on gross income for child support and spousal support calculations, it’s not relevant where the only issue is property.

Did I miss any? Oh, yes. Those were the negative complaints. Here are the positive complaints:

We have simple finances. We agreed to keep costs down. We agreed to skip the income and expenses sections entirely and just rely on our notices of assessment. We’re amicable. We’re trying to stay big picture and don’t want to unnecessarily ruffle any feathers (which you, dear mediator, are doing). We already agree on the children’s expenses and to just divide them equally. We’re not intending to go to lawyers for independent legal advice (ILA).

I’m sympathetic to some of these comments, although an internal flag should be raised on identifying power imbalances if the positive complaints are provided. But take a moment to employ some empathy and look at it from the client’s perspective:

• The last thing a person dealing with the uncertainty of separation cares about is completing an onerous financial form.

• There is an innate dissonance between a fixed form and the reality it is meant to reflect: How do you perceive monthly “groceries” and “household supplies”? For me, it’s a not a monthly amount at all. It’s a weekly shop at No Frills and a visit to Costco every two weeks, with the odd trip to Canadian Tire. Trips to Shoppers Drug Mart or Rexall can include medicine, groceries and household items.

• What is even being asked of me? Is this budget meant to reflect what was, what is, or what I want it to be? Where do one-time expenses, like a new roof, go? I didn’t go on a vacation because of the current circumstances, but I’d like to and ‘we’ used to.

• “Alcohol and Tobacco” – judgey much?

• Am I going to be interrogated for having my hair done?

Let’s go one step further: how many “easy” employed people can figure out their payroll deductions? For the self-employed, how do you know how one carves out the deducted portion of meals, car/gas and ‘business use of home’ from your personal budget?

Some of these problems may partially be resolved by technology that adapts the form to the user, but we are certainly not there yet. Some mediators create their own forms (not without their own problems). So, for the moment, let’s deal with what is in front of us, now.